April 5th, 2013
Sitting in my car. Enjoying the nicotine filled smoke invading my lungs. Flicking the ash away through the cracked window. Footsteps begin circling the car. That familiar uneasy feeling settled in. There were no visual signs of anybody walking, but the footsteps were loud and clear. Tossing the finished cigarette out the window and rolling it up. Grabbing my pocket knife. Preparing for what may come. Hand grasping the door handle to open it. A voice struck the cold silence.
It was the Doctor. And he was just sitting in the passenger seat.
"My work here is done. You are no longer in need of my assistance." He spoke confidently.
"You don't need me anymore." He grabbed the door handle on his side.
"Wait." I stopped him. "What do you mean?"
"I told you once before that my job was to remove memories that harmed you. That much was true. But I never explained why it was my job. There was a lot more behind what I did with you. But you had to learn on your own what it was. The last memory I cleaned from your mind, accomplished my real task." His words glided out of his mouth, I could tell he was smiling inside that mask.
"Well what the hell was the real task?" I questioned. Uncertain if I wanted to know the answer.
"To learn to leave things be. Yes, I took away the memory, but you on your own learned to leave it and move forward. That's what all of this was about. Moving forward. It was rough, but through the thickness of hell you broke through. So this is me signing off, this is my goodbye. Keep doing what you do, and you'll be fine on your own." He reached for the door once more.
"What if I do need you again?"
His hand came down from the door and his other raised to his head. He pulled off his mask and looked me dead in the eyes. It's an eerie feeling when I see him face to face. Like a mirror. But in person.
"You won't." He smiled as he got out of the car and vanished.
Tonight the Doctor paid me one final visit, and his final prescription was a life lesson.
I realize the time stamp on this is almost a month ago, for anyone who is in disbelief with the posts that have mentioned the Doctor before. Truth is i saved it in my phone in my notes as soon as the event ended, but with work i became too busy to post it until now. I haven't seen or felt him since that moment. And at one point in time he had wiped my memory clean. a whole 4 month time period was gone to me. i had a tattoo that i had to google translate to figure out what it meant. i had scars on my arm that i didnt remember how they got there. but when he left, everything has been slowly coming back. I went through a lot in those 4 months. depression. cutting. insomnia hitting harder. as terrible as it all was, I'm glad I've come this far. and I'm glad i have who i have in my life. my friends who helped me every step of the way. and now the woman of my dreams. i know if any one has followed my journal posts, you might be thinking "don't get your hopes up, you've been through this before with a girl." and that much is true. but this time, the relationship is real... and nothing can beat that.